It was the summer of 82.
It was the summer of 82.
Rocky III had just come out.
Rocky III had just come out.
My buddy Dutch was a huge Mr. T fan,
My buddy Dutch was a huge Mr. T fan,
so we went to the local theater to check it out.
so we went to the local theater to check it out.
Sitting in front of us was this group of cute chicks
Sitting in front of us was this group of cute chicks
eating popcorn.
eating popcorn.
Dutch started throwing milk duds at them.
Dutch started throwing milk duds at them.
What? Why would he do that?
What? Why would he do that?
Because it's an alpha move, man.
Because it's an alpha move, man.
Babes love when you treat them like crap.
Babes love when you treat them like crap.
Anyway, eventually the girls got so pissed off,
Anyway, eventually the girls got so pissed off,
one of them stood up and started yelling at us.
one of them stood up and started yelling at us.
That's when I saw her for the first time.
That's when I saw her for the first time.
Saw who?
Saw who?
Allie.
Allie.
She dumped popcorn all over Dutch, got butter all over him.
She dumped popcorn all over Dutch, got butter all over him.
I could tell right away, man.
I could tell right away, man.
This chick was a firecracker.
This chick was a firecracker.
So did you ask her out?
So did you ask her out?
Yeah, I hit on her a few times till she gave me a chance.
Yeah, I hit on her a few times till she gave me a chance.
Went to golf and stuff for our first date.
Went to golf and stuff for our first date.
Kissed down the Ferris wheel.
Kissed down the Ferris wheel.
We were madly in love.
We were madly in love.
Uh, dated for two years.
Uh, dated for two years.
For, uh, Valentine's Day, instead of rings,
For, uh, Valentine's Day, instead of rings,
I gave her this pink jelly bracelet.
I gave her this pink jelly bracelet.
She gave me this.
She gave me this.
So then what happened?
So then what happened?
Somewhere before my senior year, we got into a fight.
Somewhere before my senior year, we got into a fight.
I figured we'd work things out eventually.
I figured we'd work things out eventually.
Then Daniel LaRusso came to town.
Then Daniel LaRusso came to town.
This is it.
This is it.
This is the end of the line.
This is the end of the line.
Next thing I know, he's hitting on her.
Next thing I know, he's hitting on her.
I see the two of them flirting with each other.
I see the two of them flirting with each other.
What did you do?
What did you do?
I walked over to have a civil conversation with Ali.
I walked over to have a civil conversation with Ali.
What is your problem?
What is your problem?
Why don't you just take your little Cobra Kai's and get out of here?
Why don't you just take your little Cobra Kai's and get out of here?
Oh, yeah, right. That's gonna solve everything.
Oh, yeah, right. That's gonna solve everything.
But LaRusso kept butting in.
But LaRusso kept butting in.
What's going on?
What's going on?
One is deaf, Johnny.
One is deaf, Johnny.
Johnny!
Johnny!
I told him to get lost. Mind your own business.
I told him to get lost. Mind your own business.
Out of nowhere, the guy sucker punches me.
Out of nowhere, the guy sucker punches me.
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
What an asshole.
What an asshole.
I know, man.
I know, man.
I did what any dude would do.
I did what any dude would do.
I defended myself.
I defended myself.
Stop it!
Stop it!
You know, I figured that was that.
You know, I figured that was that.
But La Russa wouldn't leave it alone.
But La Russa wouldn't leave it alone.
At the Halloween dance, I'm sitting there,
At the Halloween dance, I'm sitting there,
minding my own business.
minding my own business.
He douses me with a water hose.
He douses me with a water hose.
Yeah!
Yeah!
I haven't seen the guy in months.
I haven't seen the guy in months.
He turns a water hose on my head.
He turns a water hose on my head.
So I chase him down, try to put an end to things that night,
So I chase him down, try to put an end to things that night,
right?
right?
Turns out the guy's got a karate master of his own.
Turns out the guy's got a karate master of his own.
Guy comes out of nowhere, jumps us,
Guy comes out of nowhere, jumps us,
assaults me and my friends.
assaults me and my friends.
I think my buddy Tommy got brain damaged
I think my buddy Tommy got brain damaged
because of that fight.
because of that fight.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Eventually, we decided to work things out
Eventually, we decided to work things out
at the All-Valley Tournament.
at the All-Valley Tournament.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
may I have your attention, please?
The final match,
The final match,
Daniel La Russa, Miyachi Do Karate
Daniel La Russa, Miyachi Do Karate
versus John Maher of the Cobra Kai.
versus John Maher of the Cobra Kai.
So we both made it to the finals.
So we both made it to the finals.
It was two to two.
It was two to two.
What happened? Who won?
What happened? Who won?
LaRusso won. I lost.
LaRusso won. I lost.
But what's worse is I lost Ally.
But what's worse is I lost Ally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The reason I'm telling you all this is because you gotta watch out for the LaRussos.
The reason I'm telling you all this is because you gotta watch out for the LaRussos.
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